Always be honest to yourself. You are going to a nightclub where you will be forced to make small talk with many of the opposite sex. This is not the natural way to meet someone. Basically, this is the icebreaker and everyone is a stranger. People are always out to make a good first impression and are always on their best behavior. You will also do the same. Never treat blind dates the same way you would a potential date with someone you were introduced to you by a friend. The object is to find out as much about the other person as you can so you don’t waste your time or money. However, there are a few precautions you should take to make your life safer. Even though you may have had 30 dates in a single night with some really great people, exactly how many of them would you say you want to see again? As you circle hit or miss, there are a few questions you should ask yourself.
Besides have great conversations, does the person you are talking to similar interests to your own?
Am I choosing this person because I am pretty or handsome, have a good education or because of their status or profession or income?
What is it that I truly like about this person that has impressed me during the last three to ten minutes?
Does this person meet my criteria for a long term relationship?
Be sure you take a lot of notes about every person you meet. You will be meeting a lot of people in one evening so it’s best to take notes abut each one. Treat the experience the same way you would treat online dating. Be cordial and friendly, never give out your personal information until you really get to know them well. Never tell anyone where you live or where you work until you have met that person again and have determined you would like to date them.
After the event
Go through your notes and your list of matches. If you haven’t dated in awhile or you haven’t had a lot of experience with dating, you might feel like you have hit the jackpot. Always be real with yourself. If you actually circled and received six to ten matches, you need to narrow down your matches especially if you are a male on a budget. Unless you intend to meet each match for just coffee or ice cream, you should be ready to invest approximately $150 to $200 on meals and drinks in addition to what you paid to attend the event. If you happen to meet each match for dinner then you might be spending approximately $40 to $100 for each dinner. This can really add up. Keep in mind that you met each one for only three minutes so they are still a stranger and you know even less about them that if you would meet someone on an online dating site. The only exception is that you know what they truly look like and have seen their personality.
After you get your matches and you have narrowed down all the ones that you want to meet again, email each one and tell them you are interest in receiving a note with their phone number. If you are a female, only email an icebreaker letting him know that you would like to see him again. This is perfect if the guy is the shy type.
Wait approximately three days after you get your matches to make the first move. If you haven’t been contacted or you haven’t made contact after that time, never assume that person is busy. They have done the same thing as you have and have put matches before you or narrowed down their matches and have decided you and them were not a match. Never take this personally. Always keep in mind that you meet a few people for a few minutes and attempted to make a rushed guess to determine if you wanted to see that person again. Most people mark someone down as a “yes” when in reality they are not sure at all. Later they think more about it and change their mind.
Be cautious about giving out personal information such as your phone number or work email. Keep in mind that the person may be nice, but you only met them for a short period of time and they are still a stranger and not yet a friend. If you are female, you might now want to give your phone number until you have met them for a longer period of time such as going out for coffee.
Never invest your time or money into people you truly don’t know. Call to say hi first before arranging a meeting. Ask them if they have a few moments to talk, be sure to mention that you only want to call and say hi and that you liked meeting them. This is call pre screening and avoids you wasting your time on dating someone that might not turn out. Be sure to make a list of about five to ten question that you want to find out the answers to. Always keep the conversation short to about 15 to 20 minutes. This is more than enough time to find out everything you want. Take a lot of notes on every match as you are talking to them. This way you will remember and won’t get things mixed up. Thank them for talking with you and end the conversation with “I am in the process of calling all of my matches right now.” “Next week I will know my schedule if you want to meet for drinks or coffee.” “May I call you again?” once you have gone through the pre screening process it’s time to narrow down your choices once again.
After the pre screening process you should ask yourself which one you want to truly meet again. If you only had five to ten matches and then you decided after pre screening that you have interest put a three beside them. Then call those matches and arrange a short one hour mini date. Make this date something like meeting for coffee or desert. Very casual, light and quick. If the match makes a suggestion for dinner be sure to tell him or her you are busy, only have a small amount of time, and are meeting each match. Once you have had the chance to meet every match for a mini date, you can then tell if a person is worth going out with for the evening. This is also considering they are worth the time and money invested in going out to the theater or dinner or another date. Be sure you send an email to all your matches telling them you had a great time meeting them and talking with them some more, however, after giving it some thought you have made the decision that the two of you are not a match. You never have to tell them your reasons.
Take no more than two weeks to go through this mini date process. Unless you have other plans such as business travel or vacation, you should make contact as soon as possible. After two weeks have gone by you need to ask yourself if you are truly interested in that person or are you looking to date just to date. Keep in mind these matches you met for lunch or coffee also have other matches they are meeting as well so they are sizing you up while you are sizing them up.
Once you have had all the mini dates you need to determine if you want to date any of them. If you do, you should call them within the first week following the mini date. Once again, if any match does not meet your personal criteria for a long term relationship do not date them. Be sure to send an email to all your other matches and tell them you liked meeting them and talking with them but after careful thought and consideration, you have come to the decision that the two of you are not a match.